And ask you questions, instead of just positioning something because I know you – or presume to know you. Then I would check in and ask whether this is of interest to you.

«People always want to know the magic sales technique»

If it isn’t, you have to be able to trust the other person is going to be honest enough to say so. That allows you to go another way. It’s refreshing, and memorable, to say «I don’t know but I’d like to get back to you when I do.›»

Telling someone that they’re not interested is not something the Swiss are generally good at. How do you get people to be honest to you?

Ask follow-ups. If you look into someone’s eyes, you can tell if they just gloss over. Like a veil that drops. And then you have to take responsibility. Do you just gloss over it or do you notice that moment, back up and ask – is this of interest to you? People always want to know the magic sales technique to get others to do what they want.

«You don't have to get anyone to do anything»

What they don’t get is that you don’t have to get anyone to do anything. At the end of the conversation, you just ask how they want to solve whatever problem they’re having with the solutions you’ve provided. And then with this response you can tell right away what you can offer them. You’re not trying to close, you’re just taking a sincere interest in how they’re going to approach their challenges.

But I am trying to sell something, aren't I?

Yes, but you make an offer based on what they need, rather than on what you want to sell them. That’s also why you need gradients of action. When you realize they’re not going to do something, you need to have a fallback plan. If what I thought they might need doesn’t work, what can I offer instead that will get them where they need to be?

Can everybody learn this? Or is it a talent that you either have or on't?

Everybody can learn this. It’s about being present. Being in the moment. It’s not cultural, it’s human. It’s the idea that when you’re sitting across from someone, are you listening to what they’re saying instead of thinking about what you’re going to say next.

«People are looking for a gap to start talking»

People are in their heads looking for a gap to start talking. Or waiting for that indicator of what they think the other person needs and jumping straight to it. Some of the best meetings are the ones where they talk, you listen and offer some guidance. Maybe they just needed to be heard.